Family Matters: Does the Bible Demand Family Integrated Ministry?

Please pardon spelling and grammar. I am typing the entries as the speaker speaks and do not have time to go back over before posting.

Seminar #2

Family Matters: Does the Bible Demand Family Integrated Ministry?

The room is packed with standing room only. There are men standing all over the room. This room might sit 500 people. I am amazed by the hundreds of guys that chose to take this session. This must be a pressing issue amongst pastors. It is kind of funny that Voddie Baucham is sitting in the back of the room. I would check his blog soon for his opinions.

Session is taught by the high school pastor at Grace Community Church. He is talking a lot about Vision Forum, NCFIC, Mark J. Fox, Voddie Baucham, and Scott Brown in his intro.

“I am faced with this decision, “Should I resign.” “Does youth ministry usurp parental responsibility.”

What is a family integrated church?

 Is it biblical to not have nursery, student ministry, Sunday School classes? He said, “It is frightening to think about a church without a student ministry.”

There is no systematic age segregation in a family integrated church. All ministries are delegated to the family: the Bible is clear that it is a parent’s job to disciple children.

The emphasis of evangelism and discipleship are to be done primarily through the family. Fathers are given the mandate to pastor these families. Education, largely homeschool families, make up the family integrated church.

“This is not false teaching. These are not wolves and goats; these are sheep and shepherds. He made it clear that Voddie Baucham is not his opposition. I don’t want to go toe to toe with him for a number of reasons. This man is my brother.” I appreciated the humility in the speaker. The speaker regularly attended a family integrated church in college.

“I am thankful for the work God is doing through the family integrated church.” “I have disagreements.”

·         Youth ministry and Sunday School are not necessarily, absolutely abdicating the responsibility of the family.

·         Family integrated ministry is not the only way to do ministry.

·         There has been too much mud tossed over this topic.

·         Both youth ministry and family-driven ministry have great imbalance.

Theological commitments should form ministry method.

Grace has segregated ministries on purpose, not out of tradition.

Parenting is in the fabric of what we do in our student ministries at Grace.

We have children who sit in morning and evening services at Grace. A biblical student ministry understands that it is the call of the church and the family to disciple children and students.

I believe families are to integrate into the church, not the church integrate into the family.

Helpful Considerations from the Family Integrated Church

·         They provide a needful critique of youth ministry. Youth ministry in the United States is a horrible, horrible example of ministry in the U.S. Youth Ministry needs great reformation. “It is nasty.”

·         This movement has highlighted well the importance of the family. The family is under attack in our society.

·         The emphasis of spiritual instruction in Christian homes. Professionals should not do the work of disciple-making in children and students. Parents do have the primary responsibility.

·         There is a strong and needed focus on male leadership as a dad and husband; provider and protector, and leader.

·         Their specific instruction on family worship is excellent.

·         The promotion of intergenerational worship and service in the church. We should not put ages in boxes and separate them from one another. Students are not the church of tomorrow; they are certainly to be serving as a vital part of the body of Christ today. They read Deuteronomy 6 and remind parents of its importance.

Honest Concerns with the FIC

·         There is an excessive attention paid to methodology. My biggest disappointment is that the FIC requires what it does not provide. FIC never supplies sufficient Scripture to prove that age-segregation is wrong.

·         Just because children were present in the church as noted in the Old and New Testament doesn’t mean it is wrong to have family-segregated discipleship during the week. Obviously children were present in the Temple and NT Church doesn’t mean it is a mandate from God. There were three major festivals that only males were required to attend – we do not take methodology into our churches because of this (men attending churches on behalf of their families).

·         The FIC must stop attempting to prove that their particular model of church ministry is THE biblical model – it is A model, not THE model. This particular methodology is not identical to what God’s people always did. You cannot consequently say that Paul was the first youth pastor because of his time with Timothy.

·         The place of the family can be over-exalted in the church. There are those who neglect their duties at home to preach and there are those who float the Church on the family instead of on Christ. There is parental abdication of responsibility and there is family idolatry. Matthew 8:21-22; Matthew 10:37; Matthew 19:29; Luke 14:26;  Matthew 12:46-50 (in all three synoptic gospels) – Jesus does not place the family on equal footing with the Church. The Church floats on Christ, not on the family. Jesus was absolutely not anti-family, but Jesus does tear down idols and unfortunately in the FIC, families can worship the family above Christ and the Church.

·         The family is not God’s only discipleship program. The church is ultimately one family. The church is God’s family. The church is not comprised of only component families. The church finds its meaning and significance of the gathering of God’s people. Families have an incredible, important, critical role to play in discipleship and should disciple their children. Fathers should disciple their wives and children and have family worship – however, fathers are not pastors.

·         Deuteronomy 6 is not where we get our ecclesiology. We have to be very careful not to be dogmatic about methodology where God gives us liberty. God uses His Word as a primary means and His Church as the primary place for disciple-making. The church must not take the responsibility of the parents away from them, however, that does not mean if there are age-segregated ministries in the church  that parents are being stripped of their responsibility.

·         Deuteronomy 6 is also not a mandate for homeschooling. Homeschooling is excellent and is a huge evangelistic and discipleship method. For many reasons, homeschooling might be the wisest method in educating your children and making disciples in the home. We cannot call sin what God does not explicitly call sin. We must not say it is sin to send our children to school.

·         We should be careful not to confuse the roles of family and the Church. Nuclear families should not get the highest priorities in our churches. We cannot allow issues of education cause division in our churches. Homeschooling shouldn’t define your fellowship or become a “core value” in your church. It was God’s Church that He promised to build, to be the Body of Christ, the support of the Truth, that was His Bride.

We must become Church men and women. We ought to be passionate about the family and the evangelism, worship, and discipleship that must happen in our home. However, the Church is what is most dear to Christ. We should build up, love, and support the family – however, the Church does not ride on the raft of the family.

Education and Equipping Limitations

·         My wife and I are not the body of Christ and cannot alone edify and educate our family. We are not ears and eyes and noses. Children miss the fullness of the gifts of the body when they are isolated only to the family.

A lot of our high school students wander in here, come without their parents, come from broken homes, are gang members. The youth pastor is an evangelist and disciple-maker.

I thought he gave a very balanced presentation. I think the FIC takes a big piece of the pie and makes it the entire pie. I had a unique perspective while listening, due to pastoring a FIC. I am very thankful for this balance. I have learned a ton about my marriage and my responsibility to my family. My family, for generations to come, will be potentially radically different because of what I have learned from the FIC. The FIC has taught me so much about how to lead men and how to become a godly spiritual leader in my home. However, it is not the only way and in many ways it excludes all of those who are not a nuclear family. In my experience the FIC teaches a ton of amazing things that I have learned greatly from. However, the FIC seems to be for families only. God help us to maintain balance and to not throw the baby out with the bath water. The FIC has a lot to learn from balanced Bible churches that place God’s Word and Christ as the message and methodology. Paul was not Timothy’s biological dad. The FIC is a very viable option for ministry methodology if the Word is central. Bible churches have A LOT to learn from the FIC. The professionalization of the ministry is killing the church. The family needs to be equipped and raised to its proper place, but not above the church, and not should not be the driving force behind the church. The Word of God and the exaltation of Christ should drive the church, with liberty in methodology.

We do not kick kids out of our service but we do not make it a mandate that they be there either.

Youth pastors must be pastors, not practice pastors or program directors. We need more than goat-t gameshow hosts. Our churches must be lead by legit pastors.